Are you Unknowingly Keeping the Brakes On in Your Life?
Can't you tell I'm psyched?
To be alive means you have some idea of what you want to happen in your life. It may not be specific, clear or super mind-blowing at this exact moment, but you have hopes and dreams you want to come to fruition in some shape or form. What you may not realize out right is when the “mind goblins” throw on the brakes, because it’s not always obvious.
I think I can best illustrate my point with a true story that involves cars, racing and me being really clueless.
I dated a guy for a short period of time that owned a race Porsche – a 1972 911 to be exact. It was not street legal and he raced in on it on local race tracks as well as in other racing events nationwide. After a few weeks of dating, he asked me if I wanted to drive it as part of a “ladies day” at the race track. I would be paired with an official racing instructor and race against other ladies on a road rally track. For you non-racers out there, that is a diverse track with lots of twists, turns and curves, not a Nascar track shaped as an oval.
Unbeknownst to him, driving a Porsche was on my rudimentary bucket list. And my first response to his amazing and generous offer? I tried to talk him out of it – several times. Seriously.
The idea had been hanging out in the back of my mind for so long, I was blown away when it landed in my lap. It was too easy. So then I started worrying – what if I suck at it? What if the car crashes or I horribly embarrass myself driving like a doofus? And that was just the beginning. I kept thinking of all the things that could go wrong with one of my life long dreams – right up until the moment I got on the track. Damn mind goblins!
I was putting on the mental brakes hardcore before I even got in the car, but didn’t notice it at the time. Upon reflection – as in right now to write this blog post – I finally get how I was slamming on the brakes with both feet.
On the Race Track
Race Day
Once the stress of initial flag training was complete and the instructor gave me basic racing tips, my worries began to subside and the excitement kicked in. I slipped behind the wheel, slapped on my white helmet and got ready to kick some ass.
I’ll never forget that first rev of the engine as I slowly stepped on the gas – it was absolutely amazing. So much power! The straight away soon behind me, I got a feel for managing the corners (the trick on a race track is to speed up into the corner, not brake) and soon I fell into a natural rhythm in a way I’ve never been able to replicate. I melded with the car as an extension of myself, responding intuitively and trusting that I could manage the power and strength as needed. It was one of the most freeing and empowering experiences of my life.
And although the relationship has since crashed and burned (thankfully), I will never forget how powerful I felt, experiencing sheer fluidity and oneness in the moment.
So if there are areas in your life where you are putting on the “mental brakes”, why? Out of the bajillions of amazing and unexpected things you can experience, the only way you’ll really know if something is a good move or not is to take your foot off the brake and jump into the fear. Otherwise you’ll never know the awesomeness that could have been.
This hits close to home for me. When I was in 7th grade I dreamed of being a pilot, flying planes and helicopters all over the planet. As it turns out, my reading teacher was a pilot and offered to take me flying as part of the career mentoring program the school was running. It was an exciting opportunity for me and I was gushing about it to my friends and family for a week. Time came, we went to the airport we got the plane ready and started our taxi. As we positioned ourselves at the end of the runway, he gave me a few more words and mentioned that i would be taking the wheel at some point. It is then when the mind goblins started their trouble. My stomach sank and the anxiety came flooding in, interrupting his speech i exclaimed ‘I dont want to do this, I want to go home!’ He tried unsuccessfully to talk me out of it to no avail. We turned the plane around and went back to park. It is the only regret in my life that comes back to eat at me now and again. My fear of facing my dream had grounded my aspirations, it would not only have been the first time I have ever actually flown a plane, it would have been the first time i had ever been in a plane.
It can be hard to look back and have a big regret that you still feel in the pit of your stomach. The awesome thing is that you realize how the fear took over and now you can be ready when new and amazing opportunities show up with open arms. And that is very cool : )
It’s funny how those things eat at you. I trained one summer for a mountain bike race with my Dad. That same summer I was placed on a competitive little league team. I chose to play baseball and rode the pine the entire tournament. I wish I had done the bike ride.
Thanks for sharing! Choices are part of what creates the person we evolve into. It’s so easy to say we should have done something differently at the time, but this same decision from the past is such a great reminder and tool for guiding future choices and in raising your kids.